Heejo Kim
Statement
The thick and curvy figures in my oil paintings look clay-like, still raw, but also weightless, able to move freely. They take up most of the canvas, crowded even while isolated. They do not look directly at the viewer. They loom while drawing away. Perhaps they are misfits, but they express their feelings naturally, not caring who will see them. What types of feelings are they showing? Apathy? Boredom? Loneliness? Fear? Powerlessness? Such feelings are not easy to express in real life without being unduly conscious of others. However, their unselfconscious vulnerability seems brave to me.
Even when my canvases are saturated with murky and muted colors, there are streaks of vivid colored light; these unidentified lights coming from elsewhere cast an intensity on the figures in their shadowy spaces. Do the figures discover the lights, or does light find the figures? Some figures seem to be trying to touch or cover the lights with their hands. Are the lights attractive or intimidating? Some lights are draped around the misfits as if embracing them, or some can shed light like disclosing every secret conspicuously.
Clay is a fascinating material. It is ductile enough to be shaped into any shape. But when it comes out of the kiln, it turns into a gorgeous and eye-catching sculpture. Painting clay-like figures relates to my hope that misfits can adjust to any kind of situation and be something in the future.
Growing up in Seoul, I felt there was a heaviness to belonging. Korea is a patriarchal society full of heated competition. To fail is to become a burden. To be female means standing a few steps away from the starting line. Or maybe to be female is already a failure. As a woman in this society where gender discrimination is rampant, I have become full of self-deprecation. Blaming and doubting myself is the easiest way to understand every unfair situation, but this leads me to think of myself as a misfit. “Maybe this place is not for me, where should I go?” By painting these figures, I am building up my own space. The figures I paint are both finding and protecting their identities, as I describe the space in which they exist, and seek to expand it.
I hope they can find a space where they can stay comfortably, a home just for them.
LeRoy E. Hoffberger School of Painting (MFA) Students